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Suck in bed today and Gretsch has posted herself on guard duty, which must be very boring for her.

I’m feeling a little better and have not fainted anymore today. I still feel dizzy and winded when moving around, even going from one room to the next, which sucks, but at least no more collapsing on the ground.

Yesterday, I started to feel weird. My chest felt tight and my heart seemed like it was racing. I didn’t enjoy it, but I felt normal enough to meet up with a friend and watch a movie. I went to bed feeling somewhat normal again.

This morning when I woke up, against my chest felt tight and my heart was racing. It felt like a monumental effort to get out of bed. I made breakfast but could not eat it, settling instead for some water.

I took y dog outside, as usual. The walk to the park started okay but then felt increasingly bad. I was hot and cold at the same time, it hurt to breathe and I was dizzy. I collapsed in the park, and this lady saw me and it was really embarrassing because she probably thought I was on drugs and I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke pot. 

I sat, chatting with her for a moment until I felt normal again, and then headed back to my building.

I made it up one flight of stairs before fainting again. Or whatever you want to call it. 

I’m back in my apartment now and I’m afraid to go anywhere else. If I end up with a job interview today, I am screwed, because I can’t walk more than a block and I have no idea why.

I felt like I was having a heart attack, though maybe that’s just because of that “How to recognise heart attack symptoms in women” post that has been going around, I don’t know.

I mean, maybe it was a heart attack, and I’m just really unhealthy and don’t know it. But I try to be very meticulous with diet and exercise. I stick to lean proteins and veggies/greens most of the time. I stay between 1200-2000 calories per day, only have one cup of coffee, avoid processed foods, get at least 30 minutes of cardio a day and do strength trainin several times a week. I’m not exactly an athlete or a super model, but I feel like I’m at least healthy enough not to have a heart attack this early in my life.

My mom, who is a medical professional, says that anxiety can actually cause this stuff, but my mind doesn’t feel any more anxious than it usually does (which I guess is fairly anxious, considering that I am going to lose my house if i don’t find a job soon—despite interviewing regularly every week and having many near misses—and Congress is not going to restore unemployment insurance anytime soon, it would appear). 

So, I don’t know. Does anyone else have experience with anxiety causing this many physical symptoms?

"I’ll just be here, using your foot as a pillow and waiting for you to drop something. Don’t mind me".
Okay… #art

Iron door knocker; Norsk Folkemuseum, Oslo

Remember when we first got videos on the internet and they all looked like this?